Maundy Thursday, March 24, 2005
Sermon by The Reverend Pamela P. Snare

"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around him. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around himself.” (John 13:3-5)

Last fall, while on sabbatical, I learned many important things. As you know, I spent the first month living in a Benedictine monastery, sharing the daily life and schedule of twenty-seven sisters. The following two months my husband, Jerry, and I lived near the monastery, and I returned every week for Vespers, and for a three hour session with Sister Sarah, my spiritual director, deepening my knowledge and understanding of the Rule of St. Benedict.

One of the themes in the Rule which resonated deeply with me was the theme of humility. St. Benedict devotes an entire chapter to humility in his rule for life in community, for life in the school of the Lord's service.

My first week in the monastery, I was assigned to work in the kitchen. It was September, and apples were falling in abundance from the trees on the monastery grounds. One of the main kitchen tasks was to peel and quarter these apples so they could be cooked and frozen for use during the winter. Sister Stephanie (about 10 years my junior) was at that time in charge of the kitchen. She gave me a knife and a large pan of apples to peel and quarter.

Vespers is at six fifteen every day and the monastery bell rings at six o’clock to give the sisters time to put down their manual labor and change from work dresses into their habits for Vespers. About ten to six that day, Sister Stephanie said, "Pamela, put away the apples and wash your dishes. It is almost time for the bell to ring." I protested, "But Sister Stephanie, I only have two more apples to peel." She replied, "Pamela, those two apples will still be there tomorrow waiting for you."
I swallowed my pride and my self-will in always wanting to do a task well and to finish it. I left these two apples for the morrow. It turned out not to be me, but someone else, who finished the task.

Lesson One: You are not in charge, Pamela. You take orders from someone else who knows more and better than you what is good for you. What you want to do is coming from your own pride and self-will, and being allowed to do what you want to do will only feed your pride and self-will. Your work is not your own. It is shared by the community and it is for the community. You must learn to accept help from others and dispossess yourself of ownership of work. Humility. Obedience.

Shortly after Jerry joined me in Normandy, we decided we wanted to ask my spiritual director, Sister Sarah, for a meal in the rural house we had rented. I wrote Mother Prior, asking her permission, so that Jerry could become better acquainted with Sister Sarah, and so we could express our thanks for her many kindnesses to us. I told Mother Prior that we would accept and abide by her decision.

The next week, she asked to speak with Jerry and me before my meeting with Sister Sarah. She took us into her parlor and said she had met and discussed this with Sister Sarah, and that she thought it best to deny our request. She hoped that this would not be too great a disappointment for us.

Lesson Two: Pamela, you do not know all that Mother Prior knows. You do not know what would be best for this community. You must trust that she knows better than you what is best for the life of the sisters and what is best for you. Pamela, this is what it means to die to your own self, to die to your own desires, to die to your own will, and to accept from another what is the will of God for you. Humility. Obedience.

Jesus' washing of the disciples' feet is an act of humility. He is their Teacher, their Leader, their Superior. But his way of exercising authority is to serve them, to become their servant. He performs a service of which they are in need, even though they do not see or understand how they are in need of it.

Biblical commentators view this footwashing as symbolic of the humility and the humiliation of Jesus' death on the cross. The verb used for Jesus' "laying aside" his robe is the same verb used in chapter ten of John's gospel for Jesus' "laying down" his life. The verb used for Jesus' "putting on" his robe is the same verb used for Jesus' "taking up" again his life: "For this reason the Father loves me because I lay down my life in order to take it up again." (John 10:17)

Jesus’ humility consists in his doing not his own will, but the will of him who sent him. This is the crux of Jesus’ agony in the Garden of Gethsemane: “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.” (Matthew 26:39b) Jesus trusts the will of the Father for him, accepts it, submits to it, even though he knows it involves suffering and death. He does not look for suffering, he does not seek suffering, he does not want suffering. But the only way for God to be true to his own self-giving love in this circumstance is to suffer and die.

What is Peter's response to this service of self-giving love and humility that Jesus would give him? "Lord, you will never wash my feet." Peter is embarrassed to accept service from Jesus, to accept this gift of love and humility. Peter wants to call the shots, stand on his own two feet, be in control. Peter knows what is best for Peter, and Peter wants to tell God what is best.
This is totally in character for Peter. Remember when Jesus makes his first prediction of his suffering and death? It is Peter who says, "God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you!" Peter's pride, his self-will, his opinion of what is best blocks him from receiving God's gift. If he accepts this service of love and humility he is no longer self-sufficient. He is acknowledging his need, his dependency.

His need of what? His need of love, his need to be changed, his need to be cleansed, his need of others and of God. To receive God's love, and the love of others kindled by and through God's love, requires humility. It requires abandoning our own will, abandoning our desire to be in control, abandoning the illusion that we always know what is best for us, abandoning the illusion of self-sufficiency.

All of you will shortly be invited to have your feet washed by John and me. Does this offer make you uncomfortable? Does this offer cause you embarrassment? Does it make you want to dig in your heels and say with Peter "No way!" If so, maybe you want to ask yourself why. Maybe God is trying to show you an obstacle, a blockage in your own heart to his self-giving love and your need of it, from Him and from others. Maybe this is a moment of grace for you to see where you need to be cleansed of pride, self-will, need for control, self-sufficiency, knowing always what is best for you. Maybe God wants to set you free of yourself in order that you may freely give and freely receive.

If you come to have your feet washed, remember that this gesture is symbolic of his death--of his willingness to give himself in love for you and for me and for the whole world. To have your feet washed is to accept his gift and to be willing to follow his example of humility and obedience - to pattern your way of life after his, passing this gift on to others.

I saw in the monastery how attached I am to my own will. I saw in the monastery how attached I am to being in control. I saw in the monastery how attached I am to thinking I know what is best for me.

I learned in the monastery to abandon my will to the will of others, trusting that God was working through them for my good and the good of the Community. I learned in the monastery to abandon my desires and accept what was given me as what was best for me, and as coming from the hand of God. I learned in the monastery what it means for a community of people to seek to give freely and to receive freely mutual love, mutual dependence, mutual service.

I learned the meaning of humility and obedience as the way of Christ, the way of the Cross, the way of life - true life, liberating life, joyful life in the presence of God and others.

This is the meaning of the footwashing. This is the meaning of Jesus' death on the cross. This is the meaning of living and sharing his resurrected life. AMEN

 

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